“I’m tired of fighting
I’m tired of fighting Fighting for a lost cause” -Beck, from “Lost Cause” The other day I was walking around a bookstore looking for The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, needing a good adventure story to distract me. That’s when a song I recognized came on the speakers. It was “Lost Cause” by Beck. The song has always been one of my favorites. What I find especially interesting is the air of finality the song evokes; the singer giving up on having a fulfilling and loving relationship with another person. The mood is extremely morose and practically dripping with melancholy, but it also stresses one important thing: Finally giving up on that person. You know who I’m talking about. We all have that person that we want to be attached to, even if every sign points us in the other direction. Still, we cling on for dear life, hoping that they’ll come around. We can give this person a thousand chances, but at some point we realize the truth: They’re never going to be there for us. It’s not easy to accept it. Lord knows I’m still in the process of it. I want that person to call me before they go to bed and tell me about their day; to affirm the feeling I get when I’m near them; to give me as much as I give them. But to realize that the affirmation is never coming is a part of moving on. To make the process of giving up on someone easier, we have to remind ourselves of a few things: The World Is Abundant The world is full of people; people who are trying to figure out their lives, connect with others, and understand themselves. It may get complicated sometimes, but sooner or later you’ll probably meet someone that you can trust. This person will appreciate who you are as a person, and you’ll slowly realize that you’ll be able to rely on them. Patience seems to be the key with people. Keep your heart open and see what happens. Remember to keep relationships light until you really feel like you can trust someone. Take a few seconds every morning to remind yourself of the world’s abundance. Opportunities and second chances are everywhere you look, if only you open your eyes and see them. There Are No Guarantees People are complicated. There’s no way to know what they’re really thinking, and no way to really predict their behavior. Reminding yourself of the unpredictability and chaos of the world offers you an elevated perspective on the nature of your own problems. The stock market falls and rises again; the weather shifts and changes; people change their minds and go against what they said the day before. It’s just the way of the world, and you have to be aware of it’s paradoxical nature even as you fight to control it. Having someone to rely on is the exception to this, not the rule. Learning to love, respect, and trust in someone is something rare and wonderful that should be celebrated. Knowing there are no guarantees, you can walk boldly into the world and be surprised when good things do come. Connect With Yourself “That’s the way of the world Plant your flower and you grow a pearl Child is born with a heart of gold Way of the world makes his heart so cold” -Earth, Wind, and Fire Instead of trying to connect with a person that doesn’t want to give anything to you, try connecting more with yourself. This may be tired advice, but there is something to it. Look for things that you’re interested in, whether that’s music, art, sports, or some kind of craft or skill. Follow your interests all the way to the end of the line. Ever want to try playing tennis more? Or did you always wanted to take a pottery course? Maybe you can go ahead and sign up for that improv class you’ve been considering for the last year. Whatever is, follow what interests you. If nothing interests you, then try to fake it until something catches your heart and mind. In time you’ll learn to let that person go, and realize the truth: They could never give you what you want, anyway. ... Also, a quick note. There’s a shirt being sold on Everpress where 50% of the profits will go towards Australian Wildfire Relief efforts. It’s also a cool little shirt. Check it out below! Australia Shirt apparel | Everpress A little bit of Australia for ya. These limited edition Australia Shirt garments are only available here. everpress.com Originally published on Medium.
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Wesley OwensI write about love, life, and all the things in between. Archives
April 2022
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