Batman can't forget his first childhood crush In a recent interview, actor/superstar Robert Pattinson gushed about his first love, and how, after all these years, he still thinks about her. Of course, his first love wasn’t in high school or at summer camp: It was a character from a video game.
Pattinson told Gamestop that his first love was Aeris from Final Fantasy VII, a massively popular video game that captured generations of fans in the 90s (including me. I probably played the game for an embarrassing number of hours in my middle school years). Robert Pattinson Discusses Final Fantasy 7 Love TriangleThe Batman actor Robert Pattinson has further discussed his love of Final Fantasy VII, and specifically the two…www.gamespot.com He claims that his love was torn between Aeris and Tifa, two of the heroines in the epic story that came to define an era of gaming for young kids around the world. When Aeris dies in Final Fantasy VII, Pattinson was understandably devasted, as we all were when our young minds digested the loss of such a beloved character. But even more interesting is how such a storied video game affects the young mind of a boy, and what it says about fantasy and the world as a whole. The female characters in Final Fantasy VII are understandably problematic in the modern world, where such oversexed and romanticized female tropes have been identified as unrealistic elements of male fantasy. Is the first love of a man necessarily a fantasy? And are these fantasies analogues to the romance novels that have become tropes in the world of female fantasies? It’s a necessary conversation, and one that might reap benefits in understanding more about what machinations lie at the heart of love and desire. The Role of Fantasy In Life It’s appropriate that a game called Final Fantasy VII would be the object of a young man’s fantasies. The game is all about the vividness of imagination, centering on a complex world of fantastical characters, creatures, and adventures. Take one look at modern culture, from immensely popular books to blockbuster movie franchises, and you’ll see the marketability, and persistence, of fantasy in human life. It’s no wonder that Pattinson, an actor, would have a strong relationship with the fantasy elements of his youth, where he first learned to project his self onto fictional characters and stories. But how does this figure into real love? Can fantasy desires play a healthy role in the development of real love and authentic relationships with other people? Fantasy and Love Obviously, love and fantasy are often so intertwined in our minds that we don’t realize where one ends and the other begins. Sometimes I wonder if the whole thing starts as a fantasy, especially in those early stages when we don’t really know a person, and our mind fills the gaps with all sorts of imaginative personality details and stories. Fantasy can be a big part of love addiction, facilitating obsession with a person through the fantasy about what the relationship could be. But what’s the line, when that attachment to a fantasy narrative gets in the way of establishing a real, authentic relationship? If you’re ignoring parts of a person in service of fantasy narrative, it’s possible you’re getting yourself into trouble. If thoughts of them being “the one” or some sort of fated lover trump the actual process of getting to know them, then fantasy might play too big a role in your love attachment style. Fantasy, in small doses, can be fun and interesting in a relationship. Learning to temper that fantasy with realistic expectations and earned trust takes time, and a certain amount of discipline. The New York Times has a great article on the balance between fantasy and real life, especially when it comes to relationships. The link is below: The Good and Bad of Indulging in Fantasy and Daydreaming (Published 1996)Long Island Q&A: Dr. Ethel S. Person This is a digitized version of an article from The Times's print archive, before…www.nytimes.com But if you, like Robert Pattinson, still can’t let go of that fantasy lover, don’t be ashamed. We all have permission to dream a little. The imaginative life, after all, is integral to creativity, and you can use it to fuel your work, and move towards goals you wouldn’t have thought of otherwise. If you haven't checked out Medium for more of my stories, click here.
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Wesley OwensI write about love, life, and all the things in between. Archives
April 2022
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