Depending on where you are in the world, you may have a different game plan when it comes to the coronavirus. But as the news roll in about school districts and business shutting down, all while health officials urge people to practice social distancing and limit their exposure to other people, the need to isolate ourselves from the virus is getting more and more pressing. For many Americans, this social distancing is still a choice. We still have bars and restaurants open, and can choose to go out, socialize, and put ourselves at risk. If you are choosing to self-quarantine for whatever reason (or you live in a place that has mandated it), I wanted to come up with a list of ideas we could all use to make our isolation a little bit better. So here are a few things you and I can do while we’re staying at home: Practice Mindfulness Now that you’ve got a lot of time at home, this is a great time to start a consistent mindfulness practice. The best way is to schedule yourself some meditation sessions in the morning or afternoon that you can stick to while you’re at home. Personally, I like to do afternoons, but have been also trying to incorporate mornings into my schedule as well. I like to start with short, easy sessions to ease into the practice. All you have to do is carve out five to ten minutes of your day and use that time to practice your breathing and stay present. With all the frightening news and world events happening around us, this is a great time to practice remaining at peace, and learn not to follow any anxious or distressing thoughts that threaten to make us freak out. Work on a Project Lots of time at home means lots of time to work on projects! Just pretend that you’re back at summer camp and have all day at the arts and crafts building to perfect that Popsicle stick building. Except you don’t have to do anything like that, you can work on all those grown up projects you’ve been shrugging off for the last few years. Maybe you could start a blog on Medium… I mean, you’re already here anyway. Or you could fix up your bike and go on a ride. If you get creative, there are probably a hundred things you could find to do around the house. All you have to do is start searching for them, and the projects will find you. Start a New Hobby A new hobby goes hand to hand with your projects. With all this free time, this is the best chance you got to really put your time in to hone your craft. For me, I’m gonna use some quarantine time to work on embroidery and knitting, some hobbies that I’ve been putting off for the last few months. I’m also gonna start learning a new instrument, just as soon as I figure out what instrument that’s going to be. Whatever hobby you pick, hopefully it’ll help get your mind off of the news of the pandemic and help you find some purpose while you’re stuck at home. If you’re like me, you’re bound to get a little bit of cabin fever while you’re stuck at home, which is why we need something consistent we can come back to, like a good hobby, so that we don’t go stir crazy. Check In On Friends and Family While we’re all stuck at home, this is a great time to check in on the ones we love and make sure they’re safe. Take some time to call or text your family members and let them know you’re safe. You can also catch up on some things that you let slide while you were busy with work and short on time. It’s also a great time to spread any useful information you have on the virus to people you know. Many people don’t trust authority figures when it comes to public health issues, but will trust your opinion more. I hope that this list helps you stay safe and happy while you’re quarantined because of this public health crisis. Even though we’re keeping our distance, we’re all in this together. Stay safe and don’t forget to wash your hands. Also, here’s a link to the CDC website with more information on Coronavirus safety: https://www.cdc.gov/ ...
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Maybe you just went through a devastating breakup. Maybe you just got rejected by someone that you really care for. Maybe you just saw that special someone on Tinder and realized that they’re looking for people that aren’t you. Whatever it is, you’ve got a broken heart, and you can feel it withering away inside of you. You can feel the pain daily, knowing that there is a disconnect between you and the other person, one that you wish so much wasn’t there. And just when you feel like you’re recovering, that you’ve got some sense of balance in your life, something (a song, a name) reminds you of that broken thing inside of you: Your wild, loving heart. Some people, it seems, are just not wired the way you are. Love, emotions, and rejections: those things just don’t seem to faze them. You might envy those people. You might swear to yourself that you’re gonna be more cold, more heartless in the future. “Love, I don’t need it.” You repeat. Yet you dream about love when you lay in your bed. You long to be held, to be cherished by someone. You admit to yourself that there is no feeling like being loved. How do you live with this broken thing, this heart that wants so desperately to love and be loved? The first step is affirming that it’s okay to feel how you feel. No matter what your status or role in this world is, you have a right to your feelings. It’s not stupid or foolish to love another person. It happens all the time, and it’s beautiful even if they don’t return your love. Admit to yourself that you feel something that is completely natural and wonderful, and then let yourself cry about it. Just because you feel pain about this relationship doesn’t make you a weaker person, or a loser. In fact, feelings are in many ways what makes us human. The second step is to find an outlet. There’s a reason that many emotional people are also artistically inclined. Art is a great way to redirect your feelings towards something productive. Even if you don’t have any skills, you can draw a picture, write a poem, or make a necklace. There are all sorts of way to practice art or build a skill. Just do something that will get your hands moving and your mind working. That could even consist of doing a crossword in a coffee shop or taking a pottery class once a week. Personally, I play my guitar and try to let my emotions spill out into the song. The process can be quite messy and chaotic, but it feels cathartic, like something locked up inside of me is being released out into the world. It’s not a fix-all, but it helps. The third step is to realize that we’re all struggling with some sort of broken heart. “Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”
That means be kind to yourself as well. Be kind to yourself and others in equal measure. Life is a struggle. It always has been, for everyone. Once you recognize that, maybe you can build a little perspective on your own struggles in the midst of the world. It doesn’t make the pain any less real, but it can help put it a bigger context. That leads us to the fourth step for living with a broken heart. Find ways to mend your broken heart, little by little. Do we ever really get over a broken heart? Every time I think that my broken heart is finally healed, someone else comes to break it up all over again. It’s like there are little cracks in our heart, and some people know how to get inside and just burst into a thousand little pieces. Then we spend all this time piecing ourselves back together. We slowly stop obsessing. We get track of our thoughts and rediscover the joy we get out of life. We eat well again, laugh again, and find ways to lose in the moment. It makes you wonder, though: is this going to happen over and over again? Possibly. Maybe there is no getting over a broken heart. Life is heartbreaking in so many little ways that it’s impossible to know what’s going to get you down. It’s not a perfect road, but it’s one you can walk down with courage. It’s not that things won’t hurt you anymore. It’s that you’ll be prepared for the devastating, heartbreaking, wild experience that is being human. You’ll be prepared to risk it, because what’s the point of getting up in the morning if you’re not ready to give life your best try? None us get out of this without a broken heart. None of us get out of this alive. I’ll leave you with a few lines from Max Ehrmann’s Desiderata: You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Love has always changed with the times. With the onslaught of coronavirus on our society and our individual lives, we are living in an era where relationships have been upended, redefined, and rewritten.
When we are living in a crisis like this, what does love look like? For those trying to connect with others, you might have to put off dating for a while, unless you want to go on video dates with people you hardly know. For those just getting into relationships with people, the social distancing regulations that the virus has instigated may bring them close together — or drive them apart. This is a time when relationships are being tested, reworked, and brought out into the light. Separated from our normal routines and living with the fear of a society forever changed, we often lay our hopes and anxieties onto the people we love. Love in the time of coronavirus — Here are some stories from these last few months that show how love has changed, and persevered, through these troubled times. ER Doctor Dies In His Husband’s Arms ER doctor Frank Gabrin knew the risk he was taking by treating patients with coronavirus, but it was his job, after all. A week after getting the virus, Gabrin died in his husband’s arms. Arnold Vargas, his husband, talked to CNN, telling the news outlet how this was a reminder to care for and protect those who are on the frontlines of fighting the virus. This was at a time when masks and gloves were in dire shortage, and many healthcare providers were in need of more protective equipment. Because of coronavirus, Vargas has had to mourn his husband’s loss while also fighting the coronavirus, a depressing situation for anyone in these times. We are all thankful to those healthcare workers who are putting their lives, and the lives of their family, on the line to help those who are sick. An ER doctor dies in his husband's arms a week after first coronavirus symptomsNew Jersey emergency room doctor Frank Gabrin knew he could contract coronavirus when he walked into work to treat… Mother Says Goodbye to Her 39-Year Old Husband Conrad Buchanan was a healthy 39-year old DJ when he contracted the Coronavirus in March. It was hard for him to get tested, though, because he wasn’t in an at-risk population and didn’t have an preexisting conditions. A few weeks later his wife drove him to the hospital. When she dropped him off, that was the last time she ever saw him. Due to the quarantine conditions, no one was allowed to visit him as he fought for his life against the virus inside the hospital. Soon Conrad Buchanan was dead, and Nicole and Skye, his wife and daughter, were left shocked and saddened by this premature loss. We never know when we will lose those we love, and even the healthiest of us can be taken away suddenly. This serves as a reminder to love while we have the chance, and to be as careful as we can to protect each other from this same sort of situation. A healthy 39-year-old DJ died of coronavirus. What his young widow and daughter want you to knowNicole Buchanan wasn't even allowed to say goodbye to her husband. "I would hate for anybody ... to have to go through… Dating During The Coronavirus Quarantining with a group of people is arguably a lot easier than by yourself. For people who live alone, quite a lot has changed. Any dates we were planning on going on in the last few months have been put on hold. This can be a very lonely time, especially without the ability to go out to bars, restaurants, coffee shops, and other social places to get a little bit of conversation and connection in your day. For those isolated during this time, dating apps like Tinder and Bumble can provide an outlet to connect with others. Many of these apps are even offering a “date from home” option. Hinge, for example, allows users to check whether they’re ready to date from home, unlocking the ability to make a video or phone call with that person. In similar fashion, Tinder has offered its “Passport” feature for free during this time, allowing those stuck in place during the quarantine the ability to swipe wherever they want in the world. If you’re not able to go home during this crisis, it’s a great way to still connect with people in your area, and maybe set up an in-person date for some unforeseeable time in the future. What’s your experience with love during the coronavirus crisis? No matter if you’re single, married, or figuring it all out, this situation has affected how we all relate to each other. Our relationships have changed, and will continue to evolve, during this strange and testing time. |
Wesley OwensI write about love, life, and all the things in between. Archives
April 2022
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