There aren’t many subjects that have been as talked about and analyzed as love. And since it is such a ripe subject, inevitably us writers want to make lists that summarize pertinent information to love. We put together rules, good practices, and dos and don’ts for each other to help each other through the confusion and uncertainty of relationships. Lists, of course, can never cover everything there is to know about relationships, love or dating. What they can do is help us make intentions about specific things we want in relationships and then follow through on them. That’s why as tired and overdone listicles are, they are still useful. Without further ado, here are five rules we should follow to help build and maintain lasting love in our relationships. 1. Give Your Partner The Benefit of the Doubt Good relationships are built on the underlying assumption that the other partner has inherent quality and has our best interests at heart. If we believe that their core selves are, without a doubt, naturally good and looking our best interests, we can deal with any problems that come up. Conflicts start to really destroy relationships when we lose our basic faith in that other person. If we’re not giving them the benefit of the doubt in every situation, then we might not actually see their inherent quality anymore. Find someone that you care about beyond the superficial nonsense and conflicts won’t be such a drag on the relationship. 2. Be The Best You Can For Each Other Don’t stop trying to grow and change when it comes to being in a relationships. It’s when we stop trying to improve and become complacent that things can go downhill. When people become stagnant in their lives, this can also spread to the relationship. If you’re not continuing to put your best foot forward, you may have let laziness and apathy seep into your love life. It is possible to be vulnerable while also simultaneously trying to improve yourself, improving on unwanted behavior and working through issues that get between you and the other person. 3. Don’t Act Like You Own Your Partner Ownership and possessiveness is always a huge issue when it comes to relationships. Oftentimes one person in the relationship starts to be controlling of the other person, stopping them from doing certain things or seeing certain people. Although there is a degree of compromise in relationships, acting like you own and possess your partner is a sure recipe for disaster. In relationships, sometimes you have to step back and let your partner just be themselves, doing our best to curb any jealous or possessive feelings that might be developing inside us. Treading the line of accountability and control is the key here. 4. Understand Their Point of View Supporting your partner in their point of view can be extremely difficult during an argument. Even though it's hard, part of being with someone is practicing seeing things their way, even if you disagree with them. This allows you to have a discussion instead of a shouting match, seeing things from all angles and making the best decision you can about what to do going forward. This goes back to the “benefit of the doubt” rule, which makes seeing things from their point of view easier. 5. Follow Through On Your Promises Even when it comes to the little things, following through on your promises is a sign of mature and responsible behavior. That also means you don’t make promises you can’t keep, and you don’t make your partner believe that you can do things you’re not capable of. Breaking a promise can do lots of damage to a relationship. That’s why making a promise to your partner means you follow through. Every. Time. Follow these five rules, and you will be well on your way to finding lasting love in your life. Of course, there is no such thing as perfection, so even if you come up short, don’t get yourself down. We aim for our ideals, and strive to be better; for ourselves, and for each other.
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Wesley OwensI write about love, life, and all the things in between. Archives
April 2022
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